||[Apr. 9th, 2005|03:03 am]
|||||Numb to any form of emotion...||]|
|||||The Used - [ Take It Away. ]||]|
OKay. I think this is the first time I've ever posted here.. and I'm hoping you guys can help me with a problem I have.
A week ago, as of Friday, April 8, my (now) ex-fiancee and I had to break up. Now, my problem is, that I'm still 100% in love with her, despite the fact that she lives in Texas, and I'm in BC, Canada. I torture myself, daily, by reading her post.. about not wanting to lie and stuff anymore.. More specifically, this one. http://www.livejournal.com/~gemini_bitch/21014.html
It kills me to read it.. and yet, every day, at least twice.. I force myself to read it. WHY?! Do I need, or like the pain of it? Do I need to remind myself that she's no longer mine? Whyy?
And.. I was wondering if any of you had any advice for me.. As to what I should do. I promised her before we started dating that we'd stay friends.. but, if I do that, I'm going to spend my entire life wanting her as more than just a friend.. *sniff*
I've been reading, and re-reading that entry, for like, two hours.. and I cried harder every time I read it. So, why do I do this to myself?
Much love, and thanks if you can help...
P.S. I'm not looking for sympathy.. This entry was designed for me to start getting help.. even if it is over the internet.. I need help.. and I can't seem to ask for it anywhere else.